In Memoriam: Ben Hollander
We invite all those who knew Ben to add their own memorials and comments. You can register at this site in order to post a comment. RHR-Israel also has a tribute to Ben.
There is a Hebrew idiom, “Sever panim yafot,” that describes the perfect attitude to strike on meeting another person. Like any idiom, it’s a phrase that is almost untranslatable. It means something like “a face that wishes good.” Pirke Avot, The Ethics of the Fathers, tells us to greet everyone “b’sever panim yafot” that is, with an expression that is inviting, with a face that communicates cheeriness that I have met you.
I always knew that when I would see Ben Hollander he would greet me with that look. He was always so happy to see me, inviting me to his home, asking after family and classmates, and it might be well into the conversation before he would share that he or a member of his family were suffering some difficulty.
The openness, the friendliness was an attitude he displayed with everyone: his students, the Arabs he came to know through his work with Rabbis for Human Rights, the needy whom he made sure to support. I watched him teach and saw him listen with seriousness to every question that was asked – frequently injecting humor into his response –never putting anyone down, always seeming to anticipate that the questioner would teach him something new about the material – though he had taught it dozens of times. That was Ben: absolutely respectful of everyone he came in contact with, displayed a humility of the best kind, never losing his own center, but anxious to hear your point of view, ready to be convinced by you.
He didn’t think himself smarter than most – though he was readily insightful, he didn’t think of himself as nicer than most – though you knew that he was. If he got angry, it was over an issue – an injustice, the mistreatment of someone – but the anger was quiet, never directed toward a person. He stood his ground for what he believed in, he never lost a sense of his own inner dignity but you never felt that he thought himself superior to you. Maybe it was this amalgam of traits that moved him to be one of the founders of Rabbis for Human Rights: a profound sense his own humanity and the need to recognize the humanity of the other.
From the beginning of his rabbinic career he committed himself to making aliyah. Unlike many Americans who are overcome by the economic hardship of aliyah and ultimately have to return to the States, Ben was determined to make his aliyah work. He loved Israel, he loved the Jewish people, he and his wife Judy were resolute about raising a family in Israel and despite difficult conditions, they managed. Early on, he became a devotee of Nehamah Leibowitz and, ultimately, a close associate of hers and he made his career teaching her Torah. He felt that he had been blessed to make his living teaching Chumash and Rashi.
But his love for Israel, his love of everything Jewish, never allowed him to lose sight of a basic respect of other people that was so central to who he was. If he was going to live in Israel, he would fight for an Israel that stood for justice. That was a central understanding of his Zionism, of his Torah. His aliyah would not be at the expense of the Arab who lived nearby or other immigrants who needed help.
Every plank of Rabbis for Human Rights was central to him: a need for a national budget that protected social welfare, a life in a Jerusalem that allowed Arab and Jew to have equal dignity, equal nationhood, opposition to the exploitation of foreign labor. He worked for the freeing of Russian Jewry and when Russian Jews came to Israel, equally for the end of human trafficking.
When I came to Israel for a sabbatical year in 1989, Ben introduced me to Rabbis for Human Rights. He took me to Hebron to visit with a Palestinian family whose son had been killed by settlers. It was an incredible ‘shivah call’ in which the family of the slain boy ended by looking at us and saying, “We didn’t know that rabbis like you existed, we thought all rabbis condoned killing.” Ben was a rabbi in Israel: teaching Torah and living it. He taught many what a rabbi truly is. His memory is surely a blessing to those who knew him and to those on whose behalf he labored.
"I know what you are feeling. I too have a son"
Rabbi Brian Fox asked me to post this for him:
Dear Brian:I am so saddened at Ben's death.In the mid-1990's I was on sabbatical in Israel. Our son Ben was in the Israeli navy. We were so proud of him. On Yom HaZikkaron I went to the early morning service at HUC. As the service went on I became more and more upset. I could imagine my son among the dead soldiers. I went out and sat on the wall at the top of the stairs leading to the library. I sobbed. All of a sudden I felt that hand on my shoulder. It was Ben. "I know what you are feeling. I too have a son." Since coming to Manchester, I have brought Ben over as a scholar- in- residence. Ben never lost his passion for the text. He never lost a profound commitment to that process which makes the text come alive in our decision-making. The sages jumped off the page and shook us daring us to make those values live in our world. I will never forget Rabbi Ben Hollander: teacher and sage. A mensch. Rabbi Brian Fox.
Remembering Ben Hollander z'l
Rabbi Jeffrey Kamins asked me to post this on his behalf:
" I met Ben during my first year at HUC in Jerusalem 1984-85 and was fortunate to be at the simcha of brit milah for his son born then. It was Ben who opened to me the joy of daily traditional davenning for which I will be grateful all the days of my life. His memory is indeed a blessing.”
Ben Hollander Z"L
Few and far between are the people I have known truly deserving of being considered a genuine disciple of Aharon..as "Ohev Shalom v'rodef shalom...o'hayv et hab'riyot u'm'korvan la'Torah. This was Ben...as fine and caring a person as one could ever hope to know.
Some day I 'll write of how he reached out to a colleague who was bitterly opposed to RHR....and with soft words turned that person away from wrathfulness.
Our friendship spanned more than 40 years beginning when he was a guest in our home while working with USY.
It was Ben who called me while I was spending time in Jerusalem during the 90's to invite me to a mtg of colleagues forming an organization that came to be called "Rabbis For Human Rights".
I join the myriad of those who mourn him. His memory is a blessing to all of us touched by his having been our friend.
Stanley Kessler
Ben Hollander was my landlord.
The summer after my third year at HUC, I was one of the interns who welcomed and programmed for the new crop of HUC students on the Jerusalem campus. My brand new husband and I rented Ben's mother's apartment while she spent the summer with family in the States. Of course, I was a little bit nervous about being responsible for my professor's mother's home and having him as my landlord. (I had already accumulated more dreadful landlord experiences than I wish to remember.)
But of course, this was different. When we arrived on campus, the official contract was waiting for us and the first condition of the contract was that we must join Ben and his family for Shabbat lunch. We enjoyed their warm hospitality and a kind of idyllic Shabbat spirit at their family table.
This story won't surprise anyone who knew him. A mensch through and through -- thoughtful, inviting, and a teacher of teachers.
Zichrono livrachah.
Yael Splansky
Holy Blossom Temple
Toronto
In memory of Ben Hollander
Ben was among the finest teachers I had throughout my years at HUC. In the first year in Jerusalem Ben led the regular weekly morning minyan for the students. OK, his Hebrew was not great (to say the least!), but he brought his heart and soul to teaching those of us who wanted to learn the traditional Shacharit. He was patient, gentle, unflappable and willing to accept this less than knowledgeable Reform Jew as he was (and I was far from the only one). There were many other professors who inspired me at HUC, but none were greater in menthschlichkeit than Ben Hollander. His love for his teacher, Nechama Leibowitz, was boundless, and I feel blessed that he brought us as first year students to learn with her in her apartment. He reminded us that Torah is a text to be turned over and over … and mined for its eternal verities. I am honored that Ben not only taught as a Scholar-in-Residence in two congregations that I served, but that he stayed with us in our home for a number of days following his last visit. He was a gracious guest with a kind soul … and at each meal he shared a bit of Torah learning. Ben was a model of a rabbi … and I feel blessed to have been not only his student, but his disciple.
Zichrono livracha.
Irwin A. Zeplowitz
Rabbi
The Community Synagogue
Port Washington, New York
Ben Hollander ZTZ"L
I think mine was the first class of HUC students who had the good fortune to learn Chumash with Rashi from Ben back in 1974. Ben impressed me then, as ever after, with the way Torah vibrated in him. Talmud Torah was never an exercise in dry academia for Ben but rather always an opportunity for spiritual growth and moral instruction. He and his dear Judy z"l were surely among the most generous hosts on the planet and Shabbat meals around their table were invariably occasions for delicious oneg, spirited singing, and stimulating conversation with the diverse array of illustrious and ordinary folk (a distinction he would not make) that he would collect on his Shabbat or pre-Shabbat rounds.
Twice Ben visited my congregation as a scholar-in-residence, each time leaving a distinct mark as a serious scholar whose contagious enthusiasm for Torah and whose unrelenting insistence on the paramount importance of justice as the moral core of Judaism could not fail to inspire and invite emulation.
I often been in awe of Ben's ability to face the stressful reality that all RHR colleagues in Israel face with such brave and brutal honesty without ever giving up his optimistic disposition, his kindness, or his trusting manner. His quality of menuchat nefesh combined with zerizut for social justice will surely remain as a source of inspiration for those whose lives he touched. Zecher Tzadik Livracha.
Ben Hollander
I met Ben through my work at Camp Ramah. I learned Torah watching and listening to Ben. He made prayer come alive.
Rabbi Robert Waxman
Bnai Israel Synagogue
Wilmington, North Carolina
Ben Hollander
The first time I met Ben I was a student on the One Year Program at Hebrew U. I took Nehama Leibowitz' class. I was terrified. I was the only non-yeshiva student in the class, I could barely follow her Hebrew discussions and I had only a little bit of background in mefarshim. I was also the only student who went to Ben's TA class. I had a private tutorial with this wonderful gentle teacher almost every week. I was also one of the only people in the class to pass her final exam. Proudest 'C' I ever got in my life.
The next time I met Ben I was a student at HUC rabbinical school - First year in Jerusalem. Ben was not my class' teacher but it was a joy to see him and be inspired by his enthusiasm. We lived in the same apartment complex that year and I remember his invitation to the whole class to come to his house for Havdalah. When I invite students, friends of my children, to stay through Havdalah, I often think of how Ben influenced me by opening his home to us HUC students.
Twice over the last ten years I was privileged to be able to host Ben (the last time with Judy z"l) when he visited South Bend as Scholar in Residence through Chicago's United Synagogue visiting scholar program. Ben's joy for teaching, his enthusiasm at sharing a Rashi, his patience and tolerance with every sort of student was among the greatest Torah I have ever learned.
The last time I saw Ben was a couple of years ago at Camp Ramah Wisconsin. Though he had lost both Judy and his mother within the previous year he was still Ben, good natured and good humored and joyous when teaching.
In 1981 when I was at Hebrew University, I was invited to the home of a Conservative rabbi who had moved to Israel and become an administrator at the University. I was friendly with his son and I mentioned that I was studying with Ben Hollander. The son said, Hey whatever happened to that guy Ben, did he ever do much? His father gave him a withering look, What do you mean whatever happened to him? He teaches, that is what Ben loves do. I think he is very content with what happened to his life.
I think about that conversation a lot these days. What if somebody says "Hey whatever happened to that guy Mike Friedland. Did he ever do much in his life? I hope that my answer will be that I lived a life with as much contentment and significance and holiness as Ben Hollander. Zecher Tzadik Livracha.
Michael Friedland, South Bend, Indiana
My old and dear friend Ben
Nafla Ateret Rosheinu. I first met Ben in 1964 when we were students at JTS. He and Judy were our special "hosts", which meant we had their apartment every Shabbat when they went to be with Ben's mother for the weekend. Ben, my roomate, Lee Diamond and I frequently hung out together and our dorm room was seldom without riotous, sophmoric laughter. We had a tradition of constantly "shifting the triangle" and it never ceased to break us up when suddenly one of us would turn and ally with the third and "gang up" on the other. As I write this I'm embarrassed at how downright silly we were, but I assure you we kept each other constantly amused and entertained--which one needed to do in those days! And if any of us dared to get serious (and it was often Ben, who would try to inject a word of Torah) that would guarantee his ostracism.
As Ben matured, made aliyah, had more kids, and, as he always liked to say, "taught Torah in Jerusalem" I was struck, whenever we met, that he would immediately fall into the goofiness and silliness that marked our early years at the Seminary. But he exuded, as well, a sweetness, a seriousness, and a deep commitment to his work, which he would describe with great love and pride.
I know that he gained a reputation as a devoted teacher of Torah and a mentor to many young people. I only hope that his students (my two daughters among them) had the opportunity to know the down-to-earth, fun-loving, warm and wonderful Ben, the Ben whom I will always hold dear to my heart.
Ben Hollander
Ben taught me in my first year of rabbinical school at HUC in Jerusalem in 1994-5. I still think about him because all these years later, the things he taught me have totally stayed with me. He once told us that a rabbi should never get up to speak at any occasion or under any circumstance without beginning by saying some words of Torah. I have never forgotten those words and they continue to guide me in many varied situations in which I find myself. Ben taught me how to davven. He ran a morning minyan at 8AM that a few of us woke up for every morning and at that minyan we learned all of the traditional tunes. I can still remember hearing him entering the room, already singing Modeh Ani as he walked in. I work in a day school now and I teach the children tefila and I still use some of the melodies learned from Ben in my first year of rabbinical school.
He was a kind, gentle, caring man -- no matter how little knowledge we entered school with, he was always patient with us in teaching us what we needed to learn and never took the opportunity to make us feel ignorant.
He made a big difference for me at a time when I was scared and uncertain of my ability to be a rabbi. His teaching was a blessing and his memory will be a blessing to me.