Equal Blessings
D'var Torah on Parashat Vayechi by Rabbi Laura Geller
On Friday night, it is traditional for Jewish parents to bless their daughters, “May God make you like Sara, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.” We would assume that the parallel blessing for sons should be, “May God make you like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” But instead, we bless our sons, “May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.”
Ephraim and Manasseh, the sons of Joseph, are relatively minor characters in the Torah. Why, then, do we bless our sons in their name every Shabbat?
This surprising blessing has its roots in this week’s Torah portion. Jacob and the rest of his family have come into Egypt, where Jacob finally reunites with his son Joseph. There he meets his two grandsons, Ephraim and Manasseh. Imagine the emotion; the beloved child, Joseph, whom Jacob thought was dead is still alive, with children of his own. Jacob says:” I never thought I’d see your face again, and look, the face of your children!” Jacob blesses his grandsons: “From now on, all Israel will bless their children with these words: ‘May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh’”
This beautiful moment stands in sharp contrast to the episode in which Jacob received his own blessing from his father, Isaac. There, Jacob stole the desirable blessing from his father. Esau had to settle for a blessing that made him subservient to his younger brother. The time of blessing became a time of sibling rivalry.
In contrast, Ephraim and Manasseh receive their blessing together. Their grandfather treats them as equals.
But Ephraim and Manassah do not necessarily receive the same blessing. From the fact that Jacob mentions each boy’s name, perhaps we can understand Jacob to be
saying to his grandchildren: “Ephraim, may you be like Ephraim”; Manasseh, may you be like Manasseh.”
And maybe we are meant similarly to fill in the names of our own children as we bless them., so I would say to my daughter Elana, “may you be like Elana” and to my son Joshua, “may you be like Joshua.” Or, in the words of the poet an d liturgist Marcia Falk: “Be who you are…and may you be blessed in all that you are.”
The blessings we give our children encompass roots and wings: the richness of tradition and the freedom to discover their own potential and unique gifts. These blessings reflect that each of our children is a child of God, created in God’s image. All the children of the world deserve these blessings. Children of farm workers and children who are sold into slavery, like our own children, are children of God. Children of Israelis and children of Palestinians are children of God. We need to remember them all as we bless our children. No children are safe until all children can feel these blessings.
“Yivarechecha Adonai v’yishmeracha…v’yasam lecha shalom.” May God bless all children to learn from their tradition and to discover their potential and may God keep all children safe. And may we be partners with God in this blessing through the work we do to bring wholeness and peace to our world.
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